Wednesday, August 27, 2008

WotLK vs. Warhammer

In the coming months many MMO fans may find themselves at a crossroads. There are many of those who may currently enjoy playing WoW, but could easily be persuaded that Warhammer could be better if Warhammer would have some quality 'X' that WoW currently does not have and is unlikely incorporate in the next expansion pack. There are those who would be interested in Warhammer, but will probably not switch because of all the time invested and social networks formed in the game (add to that a decent amount of new content including a cool looking class: Death Knight, a long time WoW fan would be hard pressed to find good reasons to switch to a game that is of similar game mechanics and so forth). Then there are those who have either quit WoW altogether in anticipation of something better or in anticipation of nothing at all; people who are fed up with the genre altogether. 


I fall into the last camp and could be persuaded to either go back to WoW in anticipation of what the new expansion pack has to offer or could be persuaded to give Warhammer a try if it had better ideas implemented into its game. That is, in the current state of all games in the genre, none are appealing to me at all. 

Before I get into game mechanics though, let's compare the more superficial aspects of each game. That is, which game seemingly has the edge visually.

WotLK


Warhammer Online: AoR


Technically, it is pretty obvious that Warhammer has the edge. You could probably come to this conclusion without even looking at the screenshots or something, after all, WoW's engine is about four years old now. Artistically however, it gets a bit more subjective. I would argue that WoW is artistically superior. This is completely subjective, but it seems as though Warhammer's character models and landscape designs are not as good as WoW. It seems as though the landscapes in WoW are more detailed; meaning not as plain, and more alive. As far as the character models go, it is a bit of a mixed bag. Certain character models that WoW has look good, some look bad. The same thing can be said for Warhammer as far as I'm concerned. However, on the whole WoW's character models are better and more distinct. 


Combat/Spell Animation

Warhammer: AoR

WotLK


I think WoW wins here. Again, purely subjective, but I think this is one of the reasons why Blizzard has been so successful. Blizzard has an uncanny ability of just making things look simple, clean, and crisp. It just looks right.


WoW Arena/Battlegrounds/World PvP/Dueling vs. Warhammer RvR

For those of you who, like me, have already experienced all WoW pvp has to offer will pretty much already know what to expect in the next WoW expansion pack add one more BGs, one more arena map, and a new pvp-focused zone.

WoW Battleground - Strand of Ancients 


WoW Arena - Orgrimmar


WoW Arena - Dalaran


WoW PvP Zone - Lake Wintergrasp

Mechanically, the way in which pvp is done WoW will not change much at all save one caveat: the addition of siege weapons and vehicles. Siege Vehicles include: The Demolisher - A three passenger that is capable of both short and long range attacks; The Forsaken Catapult; The Siege Engine - It has one seat for a driver, one for a gunner, and several other for passive passengers; The Flying Machine - A bomber essentially; The Goblin Shredder - The shredder is an anti-air vehicle that shoots out long range homing missiles and sawblades that cuts down opponent in melee range.

 This may be enough for those who currently enjoy WoW's pvp, but what about those who quit playing the game and are awaiting a new pvp system. As it stands, WoW's pvp system gives players incentives to focus on arena performance, additionally WoW's battlegrounds are considered repetitive and limited by many. WoW's world pvp can be considered pointless and almost non-existent on most realms as well -- I don't believe one pvp zone will change this; in fact, it will incentivize players to focus world pvp to only one zone.

 So, if this does not sound very enticing, very promising at all, is there something different that that might persuade you better to get back into MMO pvp?

Warhammer RvR - Types


Warhammer RvR - Final Explanation


Unfortunately, I have yet to get of taste of Warhammer RvR, but what I've seen and read of it so far it seems very promising. One of the more notable aspects of Warhammer RvR seems to be the ability to engage in RvR combat and gain experience and items from RvR combat starting at level 1. For  those of you who prefer to focus on player vs. player combat, Warhammer Online might be more appealing to you. Indeed, Warhammer's focal point seems to be pvp rather than pve.

WoW PvE vs. Warhammer PvE

It's difficult for me to make a fair comparison between the two games at this point due to the lack of media and information on Warhammer PvE. However, from what I understand Warhammer will be implementing a few interesting concepts into its PvE such as public quests 

Warhammer - Public Quests Description


It's an interesting concept no doubt, but I highly doubt Warhammer being able to match the amount of PvE content Blizzard is able to dish out. Also, I don't think Warhammer's PvE will be as addictive; it probably won't implement its incentives and so forth as well as Blizzard is able to.

There is no doubt that Warhammer's focus will be RvR and all future tweaks and content will probably revolve around that aspect of the game. Therefore, I suggest that if you prefer PvE (more specifically, raid progression), then you should probably stick with WoW. However, if you are sick of playing battlegrounds and arena, but still prefer PvP to PvE, then perhaps Warhammer will be able to give you a new way of playing PvP and hopefully give you proper incentives and progression to continue enjoying RvR.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

WotLK: Warlock Preview

Warlock Preview by Socioz

Source: Lockbeta.avi

WOTLK Preview: Death Knight Preview

Here is some footage of the Death Knight taken from the WOTLK Alpha/beta. The following videos showcase all three talent trees, pvp action, and the starting point entitled 'Tales of a Death Knight'.

Unholy


Frost

Frost_DK_pvp.wmv

Blood




Source: http://jadefury.blogspot.com

PVP

Death Knight PVP by Sybe


Source: DKPVP.wmv

Tales of a Death Knight







Source: http://hosted.filefront.com/TheDevilKing/

World of Warcraft: WotLK Preview Videos

Here are some clips that give a glimpse of what you can expect WOTLK will be like once it is released. The footage was taken from various sources such as worldofwarcraftmovies.com

WotLK Landscape





Source: http://www.warcraftmovies.com



WotLK: Azjol-Nerub Preview


This is a movie made to show the instance Azjol-Nerub. It is the kingdom of the Nerubians, and the leader, Anub'arak, is an ally of the Lich King. The movie features a small cinematic intro followed by the bossfights, shown through the perspective of a rogue.

Source:
devlin.warcraftmovies.com

WotLK: Utgarde Keep Preview


Utgarde Keep is an instance in the Howling Fjords. It is filled with Vrykuls and undead beings, and it is a very dark and damp place. The movie consists of a small cinematic intro followed by the bossfights, shown through the perspective of a rogue. Utgarde Keep only houses three bossfights, which make it a short instance.

Source: devlin.warcraftmovies.com

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Conan O'brien: Human Tetris (Hole in the Wall)

Hole in the Wall (Conan O'brien 5/08)

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Team Fortress 2: Engineering

Team Fortress 2 is a very unique FPS in that many different and distinct classes must work together and coordinate with one another to be successful.

The Engineer class is probably the most unique of all the classes in the game. He is known for his ability to make structures to aid in base defense. Since they're a support class, they're not very useful on their own, however, a good engineer can be vital in keeping the enemy team from taking over a key piece of territory or capturing the intelligence. Engineers can also be very useful in pushing the frontier offensively - a well placed sentry, turret, and dispenser combo can really
help push your teammates closer to the enemy territory and thus, closer to victory.


Gold Rush




Dustbowl (Part 1)



Dustbowl (Part 2)

Monday, May 19, 2008

Audiosurf Videos

Audiosurf is an IGF Award winning puzzle/rhythm hybrid game created by Invisible Handlebar. Its track-like stages visually mimic the music the player chooses, while the player races across several lanes collecting colored blocks that appear in sync with the music. Currently, the full version is only available for purchase through Steam and includes the entire Orange Box soundtrack files to play. Audiosurf is the first game to use Valve's Steamworks technology. The game was released on February 15, 2008 over Steam.

In Audiosurf the player controls a levitating spaceship-like craft similar to those found in Wipeout or F-Zero. The player then maneuvers it down a colorful multi-laned highway, collecting blocks in a manner similar to Klax. The ship is controlled either by a mouse, the arrow keys, the number keys, or a Gamepad. The game also supports the rumble feature of the Xbox 360 controller.

I was sorta bored so I thought I'd download Audiosurf and try it out. It's not too bad, especially given the price tag ($10) . The best thing about the game is that you can choose any audio file that you might have on your hard drive and successfully create a playable level based on the tempo of the song. However, after a couple hours I think I've already had my fill of it. It seems to cater to a very specific group of people into this type of music/rhythm gameplay; but if it's your thing, this is one of the better ones on the market.

Here are some clips of me playing some songs
(very poorly), notice that the tempo of the song affects the difficulty about as much as the actual difficulty setting does:


Robyn - Bum Like you (Easy Difficulty)



In medium difficulty you get some new abilities: the left click button allows you to collect blocks on all columns and the right click makes the ship jump.



Coheed and Cambria - The Running Free (Medium Difficulty)



R.E.M. - Orange Crush (Hard Difficulty)



There are many other kinds of modes in which you can choose to play with, but the 'mono' ship (where you just have to concentrate on avoiding the gray blocks) was the only one where I seemed to know how to play with intuitively.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Top 10 Most Anticipated Films Fall/Winter 2008

10. W.











Director: Oliver Stone
Writer: Stanley Weiser (screenplay)
Cast: Josh Brolin, Elizabeth Banks
Release Date: Fall 2008 ?

Assessment:

I'm not 100% clear on when or if this movie is going to come out this year, though there seems to be indications that it will. Helmed by Oliver Stone, who did a biopic on Richard Nixon over 20 years ago, is certainly qualified to take on this film. Whether or not the film will be biased one way or the other remains to be seem, but I'm hoping it will try to be as neutral as possible, simply stating the facts will be sufficient enough to expose Bush as an incompetent fool. Whatever the case, the timing is absolutely spot on.

Synopsis:

A chronicle on the life and presidency of George W. Bush


9. Australia













Director: Baz Luhrmann
Writers: Baz Luhrmann (screenplay) and Ronald Harwood (screenplay)
Cast: Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman
Release Date: 14 November 2008 (USA)

Assessment:

In the hands of one of the most visionary directors in the world right now, Luhrmann's Australia is unlikely to disappoint. Though Baz hardly ever makes a film, when he does (whether you enjoyed it or not) it turns out to have a very unique and interesting style. Australia seems to look like a more traditional, more pedestrian type of film; it'll definitely be interesting to see what he does with the source material. All signs seem to indicate that it'll be a huge, epic film, possibly being an Oscar contender this year.


Synopsis:

Set in northern Australia prior to World War II and centers on an English aristocrat (Kidman) who inherits a cattle station the size of Maryland. When English cattle barons plot to take her land, she reluctantly joins forces with a rough-hewn stock-man (Jackman) to drive 2,000 head of cattle across hundreds of miles of the country's most unforgiving land, only to still face the bombing of Darwin, Australia, by the Japanese forces that had attacked Pearl Harbor only months earlier.


8. Vicky Cristina Barcelona












Director: Woody Allen
Writer: Woody Allen
Cast: Javier Bardem, Patricia Clarkson, Penélope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson
Release Date: 5 September 2008 (USA)

Assessment:

Woody Allen has been stringing out quite a lot of decent films in the past few years, what exactly motivates him to work so hard at his advanced age is beyond my comprehension, but I suppose the same could be said for Clint Eastwood. Though he hasn't been able to come out with anything as good as Match Point, he may stumble upon yet another solid movie simply because of how prolific he's been of late -- it just seems like something is bound to stick. Javier Bardem, along with other top starlets today, make up a cast of interesting characters bound to possess a number of quarks and interesting character flaws.

Synopsis:

Two young Americans spend a summer in Spain and meet a flamboyant artist (Javier Bardem) and his beautiful but insane ex-wife (Penelope Cruz). Vicky (Rebecca Hall) is straight-laced and about to be married. Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) is a sexually adventurous free spirit. When they all become amorously entangled, the results are both hilarious and harrowing. --© Weinstein Co.


7. Changeling

























Director: Clint Eastwood
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski (written by)
Cast: Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich, Jeffrey Donovan, Colm Feore, Amy Ryan
Release Date: 7 November 2008 (USA)

Assessment:

Eastwood has emerged as one of the best directors around since Mystic River was released in 2003 and Million Dollar Baby was released just a year later; both garnering an enormous amount of critical acclaim (Million Dollar Baby won 4 Oscars including best picture). I don't know much about the film, but its looking to be an interesting historical thriller with a very solid cast -- I'm certainly pleased to see John Malkovich in better films this year.

Synopsis:

In the film, Christine Collins' (Jolie) prayers are met when her kidnapped son is returned. But amidst the frenzy of the photo-op reunion, she realizes this child is not hers. Facing corrupt police and a skeptical public, she desperately hunts for answers, only to be confronted by a truth that will change her forever. Los Angeles, 1928: On a Saturday morning in a working-class suburb, Christine said goodbye to her son, Walter, and left for work. When she came home, she discovered he had vanished. A fruitless search ensues, and months later, a boy claiming to be the nine-year-old is returned. Dazed by the swirl of cops, reporters and her conflicted emotions, Christine allows him to stay overnight. But in her heart, she knows he is not Walter. As she pushes authorities to keep looking, she learns that in Prohibition-era L.A. women don't challenge the system and live to tell their story. Slandered as delusional and unfit, Christine finds an ally in activist Reverend Briegleb (Malkovich), who helps her fight the city to look for her missing boy. Based on the actual incident that rocked California's legal system, Changeling tells the shocking tale of a mother's quest to find her son, and those who won't stop until they silence her.


6. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince





















Director: David Yates
Writers: J.K. Rowling (novel) and Steve Kloves (screenplay)
Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson
Release Date: 21 November 2008 (USA)

Assessment:

Surprisingly, out of all the directors that helmed the various Harry Potter films, David Yates did the best job with the franchise. Though I stopped reading Harry Potter books at book 4 many years ago, the films never seem to disappoint. Considering the length of the series and the variety of different directors, the Harry Potter franchise has been surprisingly consistent throughout the years. I'm expecting it to be about as good as the last Harry Potter film, and the film before that, and the... well you get the idea.

Synopsis:

Harry Potter's sixth year at Hogwarts turns out to be quite the exciting year. First off is the arrival of a new teacher at Hogwarts, Horace Slughorn, who is a bit more useful to Harry than he realizes. Next, Harry obtains a Potions book which used to be belong to the very mysterious Half-Blood Prince. Harry finds that the Half-Blood Prince's ancient scribbles are written along the margins of almost every page, giving Harry advice on how to improve greatly on his Potions work, and also teaching him a few helpful (and dangerous) spells along the way.


5. Revolutionary Road




















Director: Sam Mendes
Writers: Justin Haythe (screenplay), Richard Yates (novel)
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Kathy Bates
Release Date: 26 December 2008

Assessment:

Sam Mendes is one of the most talented directors out there right now, though he has never managed to replicate the critical success of American Beauty (released almost a decade ago now), he has been very consistent over the years. This movie seems to be right up his ally, which is a drama involving dysfunctional Connecticut suburbanites. This adaptation of Richard Yates' classic novel reuniting Titanic's Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, is likely to be up for numerous awards at the end of the year.


Synopsis:

April and Frank Wheeler are a young, thriving couple living with their two children in a Connecticut suburb in the mid-1950s. Their self-assured exterior masks a creeping frustration at their inability to feel fulfilled in their relationships or careers. Frank is mired in a well-paying but boring office job and April is a housewife still mourning the demise of her hoped-for acting career. Determined to identify themselves as superior to the mediocre sprawl of suburbanites who surround them, they decide to move to France where they will be better able to develop their true artistic sensibilities, free of the consumerist demands of capitalist America. As their relationship deteriorates into an endless cycle of squabbling, jealousy and recriminations, their trip and their dreams of self-fulfillment are thrown into jeopardy.


4. Burn After Reading














Directors: Ethan Coen & Joel Coen
Writers: Ethan Coen & Joel Coen
Cast: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Tilda Swinton, John Malkovich, Frances McDormand
Release Date: 12 September 2008 (USA)

Assessment:

Joel and Ethan Coen are back just a year after their Oscar award winning film, No Country for Old Men, came out
. The cast is absolutely killer, it has an assemble cast where Brad Pitt is their weakest link in terms of acting ability; very impressive.

Synopsis:

John Malkovich will play Ozzie Cox, a CIA vet who is fired because he is an alcoholic. He takes his revenge by writing some inflammatory memoirs. Cox's soon-to-be ex-wife Katie (Tilda Swinton) steals the disc containing his memoirs and accidentally leaves it at the gym where it is found by a trainer Chad Feldheimer (Brad Pitt) and the gym's owner Linda Litzke (Frances McDormand) who believe they can use the info to blackmail Cox. Harry Pfarrer (George Clooney) is an oversexed, fanatically fit, lactose-intolerant federal marshall, who is sleeping with Cox's wife. He meets Linda via an online dating service and gets entangled in the blackmail scheme, when he stumbles across Chad breaking into his and Katie's house.




3. Quantum of Solace






















Director: Marc Forster
Writers: Ian Fleming (characters) & Robert Wade (adaptation)
Cast: Daniel Craig, Judi Dench
Release Date: 7 November 2008

Assessment:

I don't think this film needs much explanation for being on this list, not many are likely to dispute it being included here. The only thing I'd like to mention is that this time around, Marc Forster, will be helming the project. It's certainly an interesting choice since he's not known for directing action movies, however, he does have a fairly impressive resume which includes the film, Monster's Ball. Whether he can continue to do the franchise justice remains to be seen, hope he can keep 007 in the lime light.

Synopsis:

QUANTUM OF SOLACE continues the high octane adventures of James Bond (DANIEL CRAIG) in CASINO ROYALE. Betrayed by Vesper, the woman he loved, 007 fights the urge to make his latest mission personal. Pursuing his determination to uncover the truth, Bond and M (JUDI DENCH) interrogate Mr White (JESPER CHRISTENSEN) who reveals the organization which blackmailed Vesper is far more complex and dangerous than anyone had imagined. Forensic intelligence links an Mi6 traitor to a bank account in Haiti where a case of mistaken identity introduces Bond to the beautiful but feisty Camille (OLGA KURYLENKO), a woman who has her own vendetta. Camille leads Bond straight to Dominic Greene (MATHIEU AMALRIC), a ruthless business man and major force within the mysterious organization. On a mission that leads him to Austria, Italy and South America, Bond discovers that Greene, conspiring to take total control of one of the world's most important natural resources, is forging a deal with the exiled General Medrano (JOAQUIN COSIO). Using his associates in the organization, and manipulating his powerful contacts within the CIA and the British government, Greene promises to overthrow the existing regime in a Latin American country, giving the General control of the country in exchange for a seemingly barren piece of land. In a minefield of treachery, murder and deceit, Bond allies with old friends in a battle to uncover the truth. As he gets closer to finding the man responsible for the betrayal of Vesper, 007 must keep one step ahead of the CIA, the terrorists and even M, to unravel Greene's sinister plan and stop his organization


2. The Road (Tie)











Director: John Hillcoat
Writers: Cormac McCarthy (novel) Joe Penhall (adaptation)
Cast: Charlize Theron, Viggo Mortensen, Robert Duvall, Guy Pearce
Release Date: 26 November 2008 (USA)

Assessment:

I've been meaning to read the book for quite some time now, it is regarded as one of the better contemporary sci-fi novels in recent times, but never got around to it. Less than a year after No Country for Old Men was released, another novel by Cormac McCarthy is in the works to be adapted to film. Now that the book will be brought to the big screen, I probably won't bring myself to ever read the novel. Nevertheless, I have a somewhat of a penchant for post-apocalyptic tales such as The Twelve Monkeys, Planet of the Apes, and 28 Days Later... Also, the cast speaks for it self, so I'm really looking forward to seeing this one.


Synopsis:

A father and his son walk alone through burned America. Nothing moves in the ravaged landscape save the ash on the wind. It is cold enough to crack stones, and when the snow falls it is gray. The sky is dark. Their destination is the coast, although they don't know what, if anything, awaits them there. They have nothing; just a pistol to defend themselves against the lawless bands that stalk the road, the clothes they are wearing, a cart of scavenged food--and each other.


The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Tie)















Director: David Fincher
Writers: F. Scott Fitzgerald (story) and Eric Roth (screenplay)
Cast: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Taraji P. Henson, Tilda Swinton, Jason Flemyng
Release Date: 19 December 2008 (USA)

Assessment:

I, admittedly, completely forgot about this movie somehow, and that's the only reason there is a tie on my list, I'm just sort of wedging it into my list here. I'm a huge fan of David Fincher, he was one of the most interesting directors coming out in the 90's; he hasn't been as good in the 2000's but he never fails to deliver the goods. Long time collaborator, Brad Pitt, will be starring in the film -- a good match for the role in my estimation. Like many of the Films Fincher chooses to direct, this film has one of the more interesting plots this year. This may be a difficult story to adapt to film, but I think Fincher can pull it off. Incidentally, David Fincher will be directing an even more difficult story to adapt to the big pictures, Rendezvous with Rama -- one of my favorite sci-fi novels of all time.


Synopsis:

In the early 20th century, an 80-year-old man (Brad Pitt) is born aging backwards, causing complications when he falls in love with a 30 year old woman (Cate Blanchett). Fincher said, "It's dark, it's romantic, and it also deals with mortality in a pretty unflattering way. The guy is born in 1919 - with the film itself beginning in World War I, traveling around the world and carrying on all the way through to the year 2000."


1. Defiance












Director: Edward Zwick
Writers: Clayton Frohman (screenplay) and Edward Zwick (screenplay)
Cast: Daniel Craig, Liev Schreiber
Release Date: 19 December 2008

Assessment:

Directed by Edward Zwick, who directed one of the best films of 2006, Blood Diamond, and starring one of the best emerging action stars of the 21st century, Daniel Craig, add to that a solid story looking at the Russian side of WWII (which has not been well represented in cinema) -- Defiance is looking to be one of the best films of 2008.

Synopsis:

Based on an extraordinary true story, DEFIANCE is an epic tale of family, honor, vengeance and salvation in World War II. The year is 1941 and the Jews of Eastern Europe are being massacred by the thousands. Managing to escape certain death, three brothers take refuge in the dense surrounding woods they have known since childhood. There they begin their desperate battle against the Nazis. Daniel Craig, Liev Schreiber and Jamie Bell star as brothers who turn a primitive struggle to survive into something far more consequential – a way to avenge the deaths of their loved ones by saving thousands of others. At first it is all they can do to stay alive. But gradually, as whispers of their daring spreads, they begin to attract others – men and women, young and old – willing to risk everything for the sake of even a moment’s freedom. Tuvia (CRAIG) is a reluctant leader and his decisions are challenged by his brother, Zus (SCHREIBER) who worries that Tuvia’s idealistic plans will doom them all. Asael (BELL) is the youngest – caught between his brothers’ fierce rivalry. As a brutal winter descends, they work to create a community, and to keep faith alive when all humanity appeared to be lost. --© Paramount Vantage





Honorable Mentions:
Righteous Kill, Miracle at St. Anna, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, City of Ember, Milk, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Pineapple Express, Untitled Brüno Project, Tropic Thunder

Unconfirmed Release Date:
Synecdoche, New York, The Box



Friday, May 16, 2008

Video of Janis Ian Performing "At Seventeen" On The Very First Episode of SNL / Video of Howard Stern's Paradoy of The Song

Here is a clip of one of the most iconic songs of the 70's, a brilliantly composed song executed by one of the more underrated lyricists and vocalists of the 20th century. Lyrically, the song is one of the most strikingly personal and revealing in her career, clearly showcasing her talent as a song writer. The song is musically elegant in its simplicity, yet embodies one of the more sophisticated vocal styling in the business.

This clip of her most successful single "At Seventeen," was released in 1975, it was a bittersweet commentary on adolescent cruelty and teenage angst, as reflected upon from the maturity of adulthood. "At Seventeen" received acclaim from record buyers — it charted at #3 on the Billboard Hot 100 and #1 on the Adult Contemporary chart — and critics, as it won the 1975 Grammy for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, beating out the likes of Linda Ronstadt, Olivia Newton-John and Helen Reddy. Ian performed "At Seventeen" as a musical guest on the very first episode of Saturday Night Live in October 1975. The song's parent album, Between the Lines, also hit #1 and earned a platinum certification for sales of one million copies. Another measure of her success is anecdotal - on Valentine's Day 1977, Ian received 461 Valentine cards, having indicated in the lyrics to "At Seventeen" that she never received any as a teenager.



Janis Ian performing "At Seventeen" on SNL (1975)



"AT SEVENTEEN"
By Janis Ian

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth...

And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say "come dance with me"
And murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems at seventeen...

A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said: "Pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve"
The rich relationed hometown queen
Marries into what she needs
With a guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly...

So remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
Indebitures of quality and dubious integrity
Their small-town eyes will gape at you
In dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received at seventeen...

To those of us who knew the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
the world was younger than today
when dreams were all they gave for free
to ugly duckling girls like me...

We all play the game, and when we dare
We cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say: "Come on, dance with me"
And murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me, at seventeen...



Here is a funny parody of the song at the expense of Jerry Seinfeld. The song was written in response to Seinfeld's inappropriate relationship with a seventeen year old high school girl that began in the early 1990's.




"AT SEVENTEEN" (Parody)

Performed by Stern and Ian

An innocent with double Ds
He saw those breasts and flipped his lid
For a real young busty high school kid
A horny lonely TV geek
Her major jugs made Jerry weak
Can't he find girls his age to date?
She's seventeen and she's jail bait
He takes her out in New York town
That lovely girl and the TV clown
She's barely shed her training bra
She kisses lips for candy bars
Some nice guy you turned out to be
Did she sit upon you knee?
You shouldn't really grope for them
At seventeen
Her panties smell like a rose
Is Seinfeld just like Piscopo?
Seducing girls in a limousine
While his fans think that he's so damn clean
Fell for an old man from TV
Did her pubic hair grow in last week?
With fresh and firm and round butt cheeks
At seventeen
Can't he find some older dame?
Their private parts all look the same
Does he make her parents shout
When he sticks his tongue in her mouth?
Does he think that he's a stud?
He should drown in a frigging flood
For fooling with a girl
Who's seventeen
Now Jerry, I ask you, do you have a brain
When you see her do you make a stain
Can't he get an older girl
He's damn near old as Milton Berle
You're making such a spectacle
Thinking with your testicles
If you're gonna make some glue
You should date girls as old as you

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog Video Clips

Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog is a puppet created and performed by Robert Smigel premiering in 1997 on NBC's Late Night with Conan O'Brien best known for mocking celebrities. Triumph was identified in the early appearances as a Serbian Mountain Hound. Triumph often puffs a cigar, which usually falls out of his mouth when he begins speaking. The crudeness of the puppetry behind Triumph — Smigel's arm is often clearly visible in the shot — has added to the character's popularity.

Here are several clips of Triumph from various TV appearances:


Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog in Quebec



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog - American Idol Part 1



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog - American Idol Part 2



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog - Daily show



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog - Eminem Fiasco



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog - Star Wars Nerds



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog - 8 Mile Spoof



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog - Graduation Speech



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog - Hollywood Squares



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog - Hollywood Tour



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog - The White House



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog - Pets.com Press Conference



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog - TV Funhouse



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog at Westminster Dog Show



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog - Bon Jovi Concert



Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog at the Michael Jackson Trial

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Seinfeld - Greatest Video Clips Show

Here is footage from the best TV show of all time. This two episode clips show (split into four parts) aired in the 9th season of Seinfeld, it's basically a compilation of all the best moments of the show.


Part 1



Part 2



Part 3



Part 4

Friday, May 9, 2008

World of Warcraft Video Interview on May 9, 2008

Features:

Death Knight

  • Will be available to anyone who has a level 55 character
  • Can be created with any race
  • Only one death knight per server will be permitted
  • Starts off at level 55 with a mount
  • Will use a rune-powered spell system (unholy, frost, and blood)
  • May have abilities such as a death-coil spell, an AOE disease sell, an ice-based shackle
  • Will possess three different "presences" -- blood, frost, and unholy (similar to paladin's aura)
  • Will have a pet
  • Can summon a ghoul from the corpse of friend or foe

Raiding
  • All five main dungeons in the Lich King will have a heroic setting
  • Will have 10- and 25-man versions to allow more players to see endgame content

Quest Types
  • Will have a rescue mission that segues into a unique twist on your typical escort.
  • Will be tied to the new vehicle mechanic for siege weapons that will also add action functionality when you're on certain flying mounts

New Continent
  • Will have a vast and varied landscape with pockets of quest givers strewn throughout
  • Will have an overall locale variety, which features everything from the expected snowy mountains to lush redwood forests.

New NPC Races
  • A race of short, squat walruses named the Tuskarr was shown fighting on an icy beach.
  • Wolvar, a race of miniature wolverines, will be added
  • The Oracles, a race of evolved Murlocs that form one of two factions you'll juggle with as you play

Instances

  • Two instances immediately open for level 70s: Utgard Keep and the Nexus
  • Outdoor instances will have you fighting your way up a massive spiral on flying mounts that will let you perform an array of combat actions


Part 1



Part 2


Source: Gamespot

American Idol's Jason Castro

Though I'm opposed to the existence of a show that showcases some of the worst talent in the country and forces them to do horrible versions of some of the most cherished songs across the world, I do watch the show out of curiosity. I'm curious as to why one show is more popular than another, and this particular show is by far the most popular show since its inception.

That being said, Jason Castro seemed to have the best taste in and seemed the most knowledgeable about music. Though he clearly did not possess the level of professional experience many of the other singers had on the show, he did seem to be one of the more musically adept contestants. He wasn't cool, but he was considerably cooler than the other fake shit-heads on the show, additionally, he seemed completely inebriated and glassy eyed, suggesting that he was completely stoned the entire time he was on the show.

Out of all the talent on the show, I thought Jason Castro had the best vocal style; he did not possess the technical vocal skill others might have had, but he did know how to make a song sound nice and stylish. Also, he has a naturally nice and unique sounding voice.

Though I hate the show with a passion, I found myself kinda rooting for the dude, sorry to see him leave the show.


The Lovin' Spoonful - Daydream




Andy Gibb - I Just Want to Be Your Everything




Leonard Cohen / Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah




The Beatles - If I Fell




The Beatles - Michelle




Sting - Fragile




Dolly Parton - Travelin' Thru




Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Over the Rainbow




Mariah Carey - I Don't Wanna Cry




Cats - Memory




Neil Diamond - Forever in Blue Jeans




Neil Diamond - September Morn




Bob Marley - I Shot the Sheriff




Bob Dylan - Mr. Tambourine Man

Thursday, May 8, 2008

White Stripes Videos - Week Long Conan O'brien Performances

The White Stripes perform 'Seven Nation Army' on Conan O'brien (4-22-03).





One of my favorite TV musical performances of all time,
The White Stripes perform a cover of Dolly Parton's 'Jolene' on Conan O'brien (4-23-03).





The White Stripes perform 'Hardest Button to Button' on Conan O'brien (4-24-03).





The White Stripes perform 'Lets Built A Home, Back To Mephis' on Conan O'brien (4-25-03).

Monday, April 14, 2008

A casual gamer's top 10 most anticipated PC games of 2008

2007 was a monumental year for video games in general, attributable mostly to the addition of the 'next gen' consoles that came onto the market that year. The PC still faired pretty well that year and seems likely to, again, be consistently good this year as well, despite the consoles' attempt to dominate genres the PC is generally known dominate and work well with given the keyboard and mouse interface (FPS, RTS, etc). Keep in mind that we're already 4 months into this year and certain exceptional titles that have already been released this year will not be included on this list (Assassin's Creed, Sins of a Solar Empire).


10. Spore, Empire: Total War (tie)

Release Date: Sep 7, 2008
OK, I'm blatantly cheating over here, but I just couldn't bring myself to leave out either game, they're both worth mentioning this year. However, I think Spore's expectations overrate its potential, and I think the game's crazy expectations are going to lead many people to be disappointed. There seems to be a lot of interesting concepts, but I don't think they'll pan out as smoothly as a lot of people are expecting they will. The mmo-like features of the game which, like most MMO's, might also require monthly payments seems to be a potentially shitty feature of the game. It might simply be a matter of taste though, especially if you consider the fact that I thought 'The Sims' was wildly overrated, despite its popularity and critical acclaim. And despite my pessimism, the game could turn out to be one of the most innovative and ambitious games of all time. I personally would not bet on that being the case, however.





Release Date: Q4 2008
The other game I couldn't leave out is Empire: Total War. I wasn't a huge fan of the genre, but found it quite fun after discovering a large array of cheat codes at my disposal, then it was less frustrating and more playable. I find that there many games I normally would never play enjoyable once I start using cheats and manipulate the game, thus, I'm able to play the game however I wish. Another game I enjoy doing this with is Europa Universalis III. I find that any game that has a fairly steep learning curve is much easier to learn and more fun to play when cheat codes are involved. From what I gather Empire: Total War will be very similar to the previous entries (aside from improved graphics and new weaponry) with one significant exception, the inclusion of naval warfare. The inclusion of naval battles doesn't seem all that enticing to me since there isn't a huge variety of ship types from which to choose, it seems like it will simply be cannons vs. cannons. So, I'm not sure how well this will work out, doesn't seem like it could be too much more fun to play than previous entries, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and hope for the best.





9. Age of Conan: Hyborian
Release Date: May 20, 2008

As someone who has leveled more than one character to level 70 in World of Warcraft, it should be no surprise that I am looking for the next big MMO, the supposed WoW-killer to come onto the MMO Market. I haven't played World of Warcraft in quite a while, but remain a huge fan of what the MMO genre is capable of. The graphics look pretty impressive which is definitely important to me since WoW's graphics are incredible dated at this point. The thing that seems to be the biggest deterrent is the lack of variety in the classes, after looking through the screenshots it seems as thought the majority of the combat will be melee based. The hype revolving around this game seems to be pretty high, hope it can deliver.





8. Mass Effect
Release Date: May 28, 2008

I'm not a huge fan of any of the Star Wars movies, but I am a huge fan of what Bioware did with the franchise when it released Star Wars: Kngihts of the Old Republic. As a huge fan of the Star Wars: Knights of the Old republic games, I was happy to see that the next game in the same vein by Bioware would be released on the PC. I do not own any of the 'next-gen' consoles, so I'm really looking forward to playing this game next month. I should also note that the first batch of downloadble content 'Bring Down the Sky' will be free on the PC version. The game has already received quite a lot critical praise, so I pretty much know what to expect from this title. Looks like it'll be the best single player PC RPG title since Oblivion came out a couple years back.





7. Far Cry 2
Release Date: Q3 2008

In terms of gameplay, it doesn't seem likely to depart too much from Crysis. But, how many times can you re-invent the wheel at this point? The FPS genre hasn't changed too much since Duke Nukem 3D, Quake, and Half-life were released a decade or more ago. So the thing I'm looking forward to most is the graphics and the new environment. I like that the setting seems to be in the open plains of Africa. Should be an interesting experience in that regard. I hope the graphics themselves will immerse me into the game. Even so, my expectations aren't too high for yet another FPS, I never even managed to finish Crysis, despite the incredible graphics.





6. Starcraft 2
Release Date: TBA

Like the FPS genre, I feel that what can be done with the RTS genre has been nearly exhausted. There hasn't been a better RTS game on the market since the first Starcraft and I'm hoping Starcraft 2 will trump the original in many ways. There have been many RTS's since Starcraft that have garnered quite a lot of attention and praise, but I found them to be quite boring. For example, despite all the accolades the game, World in Conflict, was given I found it to pale in comparison to old classics like Command and Conquer and Starcraft. Looks like Starcraft 2 will simply be Starcraft one with some new units and better graphics, it won't be terribly innovative, but it'll have the best formula and gameplay of any RTS since the original came out about a decade ago.





5. Fallout 3
Release Date: Q4 2008

I'm not a "hard-core" gamer by any means, so unlike most serious gamers I have not really played the original Fallout games. I hear they are much like the pen-and-paper RPG games of old. I tried playing them a few years back and quickly lost patience with the game, it just seemed too old fashioned for me. I feel the same way about some of the older Final Fantasy titles released in the early 90's. Games have come a long way, and I have quite a bit of faith in Bethesda Softworks, since Oblivion was one of the most ambitious games that actually lived up to its expectations. Nevertheless, they have been consistently exceptional, and this is not the franchise to fuck around with. I'm expecting big things from this title, that is, if it manages to make it out this year.





4. Mafia 2
Release Date: TBA

Along with Shenmue, I think the original Mafia (PC version only) was one of the most underrated games of all time. I think it got sort of a bad rap due to its similarities with the now famous Grand Theft Auto series, but I think in many ways it was the superior game. The thing that set it apart from the grand theft auto series was how god-damn immersive the game was. Instead of feeling like your roaming around a miniature, toy-like world, Mafia really felt like a whole city had been re-created for you, circa 1940whatever. The story was much more involving as well, I hope the next Mafia will live up to its predecessor. It looks as though 2k has taken over the franchise, hope they don't pull out something shitty like Scarface. I should also note that the release date is set as TBA, so there's a good chance it might not make it out this year.





3. World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King
Release Date: TBA

I'm not sure I'm ready to get back into WoW once this is released, I haven't played the game in months, and I'm kind of reluctant to get back into it due to its addictive nature. The only reason why I might is because I'll be back on an even playing field with everyone and might compete fairly well in the Arena. Also, I'm not a big fan of end-game raiding, so I might just get back into it for a few months. Though, I'm not looking forward to the subscription fees and lost hours I'll never have back again, but it definitely passes the time, especially if you don't have many friends in RL.





2. Alan Wake
Release Date: TBA

Some games I like because the gameplay is addictive, but the games that really get to me are games that make me feel as though I've been transported to another life and have actually experienced some crazy adventure ala Shenmue. I hope Alan Wake can do what few games have been capable of doing, and that is, set me on an adventure, make me feel like as though I've read a really great book or watched a really great movie, but better, more immersive, more exciting. This could be one of the few games that potentially proves that the video game medium is the best medium in which to be entertained. Hopefully this game does what Shenmue did for me several years ago. This is another game that might not make it out this year, I'll be pretty pissed if it doesn't manage to make it out. I'll be extra-pissed if it's exclusive to Windows Vista as well, I don't want that P-O-S.





1. Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning
Release Date: Q4 2008

Da-da-da-DAA, Warhammer Online is my MOST anticipated game of the year simply because I'm sick of playing WoW but still am a big fan of the genre. In other words, I'm looking for the next WoW-killer. Looks like this is the only title coming out this year that stands a chance. RvR Sounds very fun, and is already a proven gameplay mechanic introduced in DAOC. Additionally, the graphics are a welcome improvement to WoW's dated graphics. The huge downside is of course the fact that the source material and style is too much like so many games of the genre, including WoW. I'm kinda sick of swords and magic or futuristic guns and plasma-things or whatever, I wish someone would invest a LOT of money in something new and innovative in the MMO genre, but that would involve quite a bit of risk, so there's almost no chance of that happening. Nevertheless, this may be the game I will end up dedicating most of my free playing over the coming months.





Other games worth mentioning (and why they failed to make the list):

Brothers in Arms Hell's Highway - I wasn't a huge fan of Road to Hill 30 because it seemed to be too much like the Call of Duty games except not as good. Also, I'm not looking forward to yet another historic shooter.
Release Date: August 2008

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Clear Sky - I recently attempted to play S.T.A.L.K.E.R., and it has some similarities in terms of gameplay mechanics with Deus Ex. For whatever reason, it just seemed too difficult to get into to. A lot of people disagree, especially experienced PC gamers on this point, however, as the title of this blog suggests, I'm not a genuine game fan in many ways. Many times, I'm very impatient and spoiled when it comes to games and want to be entertained immediately. I don't want to sit there and read through text after text and learn jargon about technical information pertaining only to this fictitious world all day. Unless it's presented in a very cinematic way, I probably won't have the patience to stick with it for more than a few minutes. That being said, the prequel looks pretty interesting, and I'll definitely give the game a chance when it's released.
Release Date: Q2 2008

Half-Life 2: Episode 3 - With the exception of a World of Warcraft expansion pack, it's very difficult for me to get very excited about expansion packs in general, I more or less know what to expect from an expansion pack.
Release Date: TBA

Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 - I was a huge fan of the original C&C back in 95', it was one of the most innovative games for it's time, however, I wasn't very pleased by subsequent releases by Westwood Studios and don't expect too much from Red Alert 3. I feel the same way about Quake as well, I've played the first two to death, there seems to be less and less to get excited about as new games from the franchise are being released.
Release Date: TBA

Deus Ex 3 - I tried playing through the original Dues Ex on several occasions but never managed to get myself to stick with it, perhaps because by the time I decided to play it the game was somewhat dated. Even though the first entry did not hook me in I decided to give the second entry in the series a try, it turned out to be one of the most unplayable games I've ever tried playing. In any case, the first one was highly-praised enough to look forward to the third entry. My expectations aren't very high, but I could be in for a pleasant surprise.
Release Date: TBA

Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Conviction - Along with the Theif series, Splinter Cell has been the innovator in the stealth sub-genre and has done the best job of focusing on the stealth aspect of video games. This game won't blow me away like when I was first introduced to this style of FPS gameplay, but I think it's going to add enough new innvations into it to make me come back for more. With the addition of crowd blending, most likely borrowed from last years hit, Assassin's Creed, this could easily be #12 on my list.
Release Date: Q4 2008

Project ORIGIN - This sequel to FEAR should get a lot of people excited, but not me. It will most likely be just another shooter, a well done shooter granted, but a shooter that will most likely lack enough new shit to get me hooked. Having the remarkable ability to move quickly and effectively slow time around you is not as fun as it used to be. Maybe I'm just too jaded at this point.
Release Date: Q4 2008

Games worth mentioning that I don't know enough about to comment on: Rage, Left 4 Dead, Dragon Age, Demigod, Borderlands, The Agency, Tiberium, Rise of the Argonauts, Jagged Alliance 3, Shattered Suns, White Gold: War in Paradise, Divine Divinity 2, Sacred 2: Fallen Angels, Tomb Raider: Underworld, Alone in the Dark, Prototype, Mythos, Aion, Codename Panzers: Cold War, Machinarium, The Path, Mirror's Edge, The Swarm, LotRO: Mines of Moria, Stargate Worlds, Huxley, Darkfall, Turok, This is Vegas, GRID


Results
1. Empire: Total War (13%)
2. AOC: Hyborian (12%)
3. Deus Ex 3 (9%)
4. Spore; Mass Effect; Starcraft 2; Warhammer Online: AOR (6%)